...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
