4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
