I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
