i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
