Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
