Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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