I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
