"it" just moved
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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