You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
