My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
