Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
