This girl is more easily done than said...
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Randomize