I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
