just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
