i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
He uses pillows to masturbate.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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