maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I need water and some morals
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
