R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize