Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
