Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
