Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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