You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
