Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
His hands were made for my vagina.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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