ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
