ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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