If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
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