yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Randomize
