some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
