i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
