the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
