the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
