She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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