Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
The struggles of a small town man whore
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
