Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
