she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
