Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
