...so i touched it.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
