I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
