we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Randomize
