You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Someone came in the potted fern
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
