I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
what day is it and did you see me today?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
