my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
