pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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