I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Randomize
