My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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