He kissed a someone with a penis
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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