Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
