my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
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