I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
