considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
