I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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